i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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