Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
