is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
