im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
