So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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