so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Randomize
