I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
