THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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