I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Even the bartender felt bad for me
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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