did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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