Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
