my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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