last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Someone came in the potted fern
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
