Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
