the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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