that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
