if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
