i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
