Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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