i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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