Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
