Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
