I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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