Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I accidentally burped into my bong.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Randomize
