Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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