My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
