my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
