Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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