Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I checked into jail on foursquare
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
