I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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