It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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