girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
