guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
