D3 body, D1 cock
Come see our sink grown plant.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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