so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
