I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
