and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
