Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
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