I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
