i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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