We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
