You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Green mimosas i think yes
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
