We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
