Me. At least after what I've been through.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Randomize
