ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
