then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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