Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
it's great music for shaving your balls
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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