went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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