Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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