Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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