Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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